Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Guy Love

I think it is perhaps safe to say that today's society is a tad homophobic. Do one thing slightly not "manly," and bam—one is considered gay. 

Historically, that was not quite the case. Gender roles were vastly different in various cultures and times, so what was considered "manly" in 1612 differs from what "manly" is in 2012. 

Take close male friendships. This is depicted perfectly on Scrubs, where the main character, J.D., dearly loves his longtime compadre, Turk. Yes, "loves." For the entire series Turk has a girlfriend, then wife, in Carla, and J.D. has a steady on again/off again relationship in Elliot (a girl! She's a girl!) 
But the love of Turk and J.D. supersedes nearly all. Nothing will ever come between them. There's even this scene: 

Carla: Tell me my husband loves me more than he loves you. 

JD: It's about the same.

True guy love is rarity nowadays. Any other references I have are biblical, like Dovid and Yehonasan. They always had each other's back.
And what happens when guy love turns tepid? Our culture would not permit a passionate wooing to reinstate it, as Ben Schrank observes.

He continues that the reason for this is because men won't sit down and hash out their feelings. As I continued to read, I realized—hey, my friendships aren't remotely girly. To quote a friend of mine, "I don't do moments." Meaning, if I would ever have a misunderstanding with a friend, there would be no screaming out of frustrations, ending in a sobbing, hugging reunion. I would quietly pull the plug and move on.

Me no like drama. 
My wife and her friend hurt each other’s feelings at dinners with other friends. Then they stew and obsess and vent to other friends. Next, they engage in a difficult phone call. A few days later they meet and drink wine and work on gently knitting their bond back together. And their friendship not only survives, it is also strengthened.  
Huh? Chicks do that?

No wonder Leia is the only girl in Star Wars.     


FrumGeek said...

You may not like drama, but it is an inevitable part of life. I can guarantee you that you will get into fights with a certain someone (your husband) and will have to work things out. It'll happen in almost any successful relationship.

The Beckster said...

I love Scrubs...and LOL to that scene. I agree with this. Our society has the habit of being too quick to dub a guy as "gay." If a guy likes Whitney Houston or some other kind of "girlish" music, then BAM! He's gay.

Princess Lea said...

FG: I get hit with it from time to time, but I make a point to keep it to a minimum. I just don't seek out drama; I let it come to me.

Beckster: And if a girl calls herself Sam and wears grubby jeans and plays the ball the best and can keep down her liquor, she isn't automatically called a lesbian. She's considered cute and the ideal modern Disney heroine.

May the straight men who like Abba be strong from societal mocking.

Mr. Cohen said...

I am a fan of SCRUBS.

I sometimes watch SCRUBS on YouTube.

Dr. Dorian is Jewish in real life.

Princess Lea said...

I was aware he was. He and 50% of the acting community.