Thursday, April 11, 2013

Too Soon

Has anyone ever heard this line?  

"He'll make a wonderful husband and father."  

Whoa there.

I jump ahead as it is. When I'm on a date, my gauge is if I can visualize making him dinner. If I get nauseous at the prospect, he's not a keeper.  

But for a shadchan to already make promises which she cannot keep sounds rather disturbing. To confidently state that we are already celebrating our tenth anniversary? Barf. 

And pray tell, how do you know? It would be like saying that I would be great at roller derby—I have never tried it, but you have a feeling. You can say he's a nice guy, you can say I'm a nice girl, but to apportion successful future roles without an audition?  

I understand that pseudo-shadchanim think they have to invent THE line that will make the unwilling become willing. But if it is meant to be, it will be, without resorting to fairy tales

In order to successfully support your argument: "I have Doc Brown here, with his still-steaming DeLorean. He's been the future, and he can bring documented evidence that this fellow will be a wonderful husband and father. He puts you on a pedestal, he wakes up with the baby at night, he can have cereal for dinner in a pinch." 

No Doc Brown? No DeLorean? No Jules Verne Time Traveler in his awesome steam-punk contraption? No Jean-Luc Picard on the Enterprise-E when he went back in time to stop the Borg from assimilating Earth? 

None of the above?

Then kindly pack away the tarot cards. 


Single on the Scene said...

Totally agree with you on this one. I once had a Shadchan redd me a guy who was heavy. 'Once he's married-he'll lose the extra weight as his wife will cook him dinners and he won't be eating all that junk food anymore'. As if she can GUARANTEE he will be 50lbs lighter once the chuppah is over!

FrumGeek said...

Hahahah! I know a guy like that, and his wife believed the shadchan and only cooks him healthy dinners. He tells me he cheats all the time though, so he's losing nothing.

And btw, you can't trust Docter Emmet Brown. He claimed that Marty turned out fine, it was just his son he had to worry about, but that wasn't the case at all.

Princess Lea said...

SOTS: Yeah, that sounds familiar. I'm a real health nut but I'm not planning on being my husband's mommy. Weight loss starts with oneself, not with anyone else.

FG: Of course he cheats! There's too much temptation out there.

He was trying not to upset the space-time continuum more than he had. He said casually, "Oh, you're fine," not realizing that if he warned Marty about the car crash, that would have ramifications down the rest of history, like when his father punched Biff, became confident, and was no longer a loser.