Monday, November 11, 2013

I'm Going Mad

I had just stood up for Shmoneh Esrei on a Shabbos morning. I am not proud, but my gaze had wandered lazily across the room. 

A squirrel's head popped into view, then disappeared.  

I kid you not.
I spent the entire davening shooing away new arrivals from the questionable territory. 

"Hi, um, there's a squirrel." 


"I mean in the shul." 


What exactly did they think I meant by "There's a squirrel"? That there is such a thing as a squirrel?

One woman didn't believe me. "Where?" she scoffed. She marched down the row, whacking the chairs with her booted foot until the squirrel chittered, at which point she fled. 

I'm a trifle annoyed she wouldn't take my word for it. I think that after all these years of davening in this shul, I have proved not to be an attention-seeker or an alarmist. 

My davening was worth absolutely nothing. My father leined, and I couldn't even enjoy it, mentally biting my nails. I simultaneously feared the potential diseases the rodent could spread, whilst pitying him for his diet of Laffy Taffies (as the scattered, torn wrappings proved).  

Needless to say, I shall be abstaining from my current place of worship for the next few weeks until I will no longer associate the area with rodents.  


Lost and Found said...

Did your nails mentally survive the ordeal??

If it were a rat or a mouse, I'd probably have the same reaction, but a squirrel? Those fellas are adorable!

Princess Lea said...

They are darn cute. But then one remembers that they are still potentially disease-carrying rodents.

tesyaa said...

L&F, squirrels are vicious and dangerous. Lucky for us that they're small.

(Seriously, they have sharp teeth and nasty personalities. They've been known to tear apart attics and destroy electrical wiring. I get freaked out when I see one on my windowsill, even when the window is closed and locked.)

Princess Lea said...

I never realized how determined they were until I saw one gnawing through my outdoor garbage bin. Those teeth can go through anything!

I half expect them to steeple their little claws together in a parody of Mr. Burns.