Tuesday, November 5, 2013

When Americans and Israelis Collide

I have an anxious, over-active mind. Some people would call it paranoid. Besides for thinking I'm being stalked when I hear the crunch of a leaf behind me, I rarely take any statement at face value. Maybe because any time my siblings gave me a compliment they followed it up with a babysitting request. 

Dating is a nightmare. Nothing is what it seems. "I had a nice time" can be followed by a "no." Bad behavior can be followed by a "yes." Wait, was he being serious when he said that? Oh, please let that be a joke. 

I'm guilty too. After all, one is "supposed" to be amenable. 

"No, I'm not hungry. Tea is fine." It's 6 o'clock. Of course I'm ravenous. 

"I can walk a bit, no problem." Although my shoes are trying to cripple me. 

"I'm not tired." I'm weeping inside for my blankie. 

Israelis, as we all know, don't futz around the bush, even in courtship. When these two cultures meet, as Orli Santo describes in "Extreme Inter-Dating," things can get a little hairy.
In some cited situations, like Batya, the divide was too great. For others, it is refreshing change. 

Any Israeli-American couples out there? Concur? Disagree?  


Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

You think dating is a nightmare? Try marriage.

Wait, that came out wrong...

Anonymous said...

well, I'm not married yet, but I have gone out with a couple of Israelis. No real difference. These guys were just as uninterested in getting married as some of the Americans I've dated (you know the type, PL, you've described similar types in your blog--the hard to pin down type). I guess the only (good)different thing was that the dates tended to be shorter.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and just to add to my comment, those guys were just as evasive with the shadchan as the American hard-to-pin down type. Like, they say they want to get married but push off calling to schedule the date when they told the shadchan they would, kept changing when they would call, meet etc. (And this was before actually meeting me, so know, it wasn't just a passive agressive way to turn me down. neither did they have any real excuse to give when they kept doing that.)
So in my limited experience, no, I don't really agree with the premise of that article. Maybe because these guys are frum??

Princess Lea said...

MGI: You make it sound so wonderful.

Anon: Hm. Although, points for shorter dates, eh? I can't stand it when he's not interested but won't take me home by a decent hour.