OPI Conquistadorable Color

This one of my favorite wintertime shades. Due to the flash, the color looks brighter than it is, while it is actually something like dark raspberry. 

Which Love

It always seems like when I have to babysit then Rabbi Yisroel Reisman's shiur is the most interesting. 

From the bits and pieces I heard third-hand:  

Why was it that Bilaam was gung-ho on cursing Bnei Yisroel, but then when he arrives all he can emit is a bracha? 

Because hearing and seeing are two different things. Once he saw, all he could do was bless.  

Why did the wife of Lot have to turn into salt after seeing the destruction of S'dom? 

Because when she looked, she didn't look as one who would repent upon seeing such horros; she was looking for entertainment. 

The eyes are connected to the heart, while the ears are connected to the brain.  

(I was thinking of the first time I saw the Kosel or Yam HaMelach or Niagara Falls. I felt as though my heart was full. My head was wiped of thought; all I felt was emotion.)

When I heard this point, all I could think of was this saying: 

"Men fall in love with their eyes, and women fall in love with their ears."- Woodrow Wyatt

Woodrow Wayatt

So, therefore, we can conclude that men are emotional, and women are rational.  

Ha ha.

My Favorite Chanukah Song

 

Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all
Bound to stumble and fall but my strength comes not from man at all

Shabbos Face: Eyeshadow II

This step is not really necessary; I omit it often. But it can add extra dimension and depth to the eyes, so if one has time and is intrigued . . .  

When applying more than one eyeshadow shade, I prefer not to use differing colors, but rather lighter and darker shades of the same hue. 

I favor gray eyeshadow for Shabbos and occasions for a smoky eye. My current faves are Illamasqua's Incubus and Feline. 

Via MakeupAlley.com

Taking the lighter shade first (in my case, Feline), I apply it to the lid. The brush for this step does not have to be a specialized one - I just use whatever comes to hand. 

Then, using my specifically selected eyeshadow brush (which I discussed in Eyeshadow I), I apply the darker color into the crease. 

via LamasBeauty.com

When using brown eyeshadow - the lighter shade can be gold and the darker shade more brown. Such colors make brown eyes really pop. 

Via PakLinks.com

Next Friday: Highlight!

Online and Lying

My one experience with online dating was when I received an email that someone I know (who's name was left anonymous) thinks this guy could be for me, and to find out who I have to join Saw You At Sinai.

I wasn't sure, but under parental pressure ended up joining. I listed myself as "Modern Yeshivish," despite the inaccuracy of the label, but it was the only option that vaguely described me.  

A suggestion pops up. His photo was taken with a unsophisticated camera phone, leaving him blurry and indistinct. One thing was for sure, however, he was not "lean" as he had listed. (His Facebook page backed that up). 

He listed his employment as "lawyer," but when I went on Martindale-Hubble there was no record with anyone of that name.  

His Modern Yeshivish was vastly different from my Modern Yeshivish. 

I said, "No, thank you," and changed my status to "Inactive." I am not cut out for internet dating.  

His stretching of the truth, however, is rather common in the online dating world. 

Since the community has currently decided to focus on paper profiles, the same finagling and misrepresentations appear. A lot of the statistics cited sound very familiar:

Do online daters have a propensity to lie? Do we really need scientists to answer this question?

If you are curious about numbers: about 81 percent of people misrepresent their height, weight or age in their profiles . . . On the bright side: people tend to tell small lies because, after all, they may eventually meet in person.

On average, the women described themselves as 8.5 pounds thinner in their profiles than they really were. Men fibbed by 2 pounds, though they lied by a greater magnitude than women about their height, rounding up a half inch (apparently every bit counts).

As you may recall, I have previously mentioned male inhonesty in terms of height, although they were never so tame as to restrict fantasy to a mere half-inch; why be 5'8" when one can be 5'11'?

People were most honest about their age . . . probably because they can claim ignorance about weight and height.

“Daters lie to meet the expectations of what they think their audience is,” Professor Toma said. 

Having recently turned 26, I am definitely 26 if a guy 28+ is redt; if he is 26-, then my folks are taking into account the Hebrew leap year ("It was your legal birthday already, but not your Hebrew one yet . . . ").

Scholars say a certain amount of fibbing is socially acceptable — even necessary — to compete in the online dating culture. Professor Ellison’s research shows that lying is partly a result of tension between the desire to be truthful and the desire to put one’s best face forward. So profiles often describe an idealized self; one with qualities they intend to develop (i.e., “I scuba dive”) or things they once had (i.e., a job). Some daters bend the truth to fit into a wider range of search parameters; others unintentionally misrepresent their personalities because self-knowledge is imperfect.  

How many of us are so honest with themselves? How many weigh themselves regularly, how many measure themselves regularly, how many go into denial when birthdays roll around? 

The standard of embellishment can frustrate the honest. “So if I say I am 44, people think that I am 48,” said one man interviewed by Professor Ellison and colleagues in a separate study. 

Been there.

Women want men who are — wait for it — tall and wealthy . . . women prefer men who are slightly overweight, while men prefer women who are slightly underweight and who do not tower over them. These were the women who had the best chance of receiving an introductory e-mail from a man.

So even the gentiles are leery of tall females . . . I'm sorry, men, but it appears that according to statistics only a tall guy would be able to tolerate my genetics. But, I still stand by my original statement: I do not care about height (within reason).

And even though men may get away with carrying a few extra pounds, they are also burdened with the expectation of carrying a fatter wallet: The scholars found that women have a stronger preference than men do for income over physical attributes.

Exactly. So as I also pointed out, the response to a fellow who requests a picture is not for a photo in turn, but for specific details about his income ("Be a dear and fax over his bank statement. Then I'll dig out a decent photo.")

Some people indicated that they were willing to date different ethnicities, but they didn’t. “What people say they want in a mate and what qualities they actually seek don’t tend to correspond,” said Coye Cheshire . . .

Sort of like the guy who claims he wants a mature woman who has seen the world and ends up with a 19-year-old? Or the woman who weeps that it is so hard to find a nice guy, but ends up with a gorgeous jerk?  It just goes to show that there is no point in being honest, as no one is even honest when speaking "honestly."

Come Say What Now?

A friend of mine was being called by mother of a guy. She has fielded some crazy questions on my behalf, but this takes the proverbial cake. 

"Is she put together?"

"Yes, of course."

"Well, I mean, does she dress . . . cheap?"

"Um . . . no." 

The question is, what did she mean by "cheap"? Did she mean: 

(a) Vegas pole-dancer

(b) strictly H&M wardrobe ($14.99 a top) rather than designer ($1,490 retail).

The first option doesn't seem viable in terms of tznius code. With the hem/collar/sleeve requirements in place, it's difficult to dress like a floozy.

As for the second option, how many dudes are in tune to women's clothing? She's seriously asking that on his behalf? I could put on something that I have owned for three years and Ta will say, "Oooh, new?"

Lady, at least pretend to be interested in my middos. Which she didn't inquire about at all.

Ah, Young Love

Since our demographic tend to wed young, I clicked on this article to check out gentile experience with youthful wedded bliss. 

Katie Arnold-Ratliff speaks of her experience as a young bride. The numbers are against her; the divorce rate is pretty high amongst those who marry in their early twenties. They were a couple since high school, and roommates when they attended college. So they got married, believing in a future together.  

But in no time they were fighting.

I remember thinking that it was all so comically obvious, so dismayingly clichéd: We weren't ready . . . We'd weathered the rocky transition between adolescence and adulthood. We also loved each other, which we thought was enough to make a marriage work. It was suddenly so clear how naïve we'd been. How young we'd been. So when I moved to New York three months later—to attend graduate school at the college I'd turned down six years earlier—I had a goal in mind. I would go into the world alone and grow up, and then see if the grown-up me still loved him. If I did, I would just have to hope that the grown-up him still loved me, too.

She attended her dream college, which she had put aside due to her husband's unwillingness. She was experiencing new things and freedoms, but she missed her other half. So after a few months, she drove back to him. 

We were 24. It was all decidedly grown-up. We were decidedly grown-up. When I returned to New York a week later, he came too.

I love her description of their devotion: 

It might sound weird, but I love Adam like I love my siblings, or my parents, or the sky: I love him in a way that never entertains his absence. I'm not saying I take him for granted. I'm saying he's the bedrock of my life.  

Go West, Young Man

I was reading Anya Seton's Foxfire, and this passage jumped out to me. The book takes place in the early 1930s.

Dart shared with most native Westerners a large tolerance towards eccentricity. Here against the vast panorama of mountains and desert each individual became sharply silhouetted, traits intensified, passions more violent. The air itself bred sharper men then the soft and foggy East where corners blurred into a monotonous smooth mold.

There is no denying that there is a "molding tendency" in the New York area. I don't believe it is applied by outside pressure, but by individual choice to "fit in." Many who attempt to gain acceptance by "rule following" and do not succeed. For all that effort, I might as well do what pleases me, which I have done since I was a wee lass.

I think my brain is merely hardwired differently; I never got sucked into current trends as a child, unless I was actually interested. Fourth grade was Lisa Frank Stationary - I didn't see a benefit to spending my precious recess time auctioning off stickers. Fifth was Chinese jump rope - my reflexes aren't the best. Sixth - kugelach. Again, sucky response time. 

It never occurred to me to go along with these fads as a way to gain acceptance.

I wonder now if anyone I know would be different if they merely had a change of scenery. Would I be any different?

Bon Voyage

I will be out of town for the next week and a half; I am not sure if I will have internet access where I am. 

However, posts shall be going up as usual; for those who comment, I am not ignoring you, merely I am incommunicado. 

Check out this video that Surfin' posted. The tune is stuck in my head something terrible; it also made me laugh.  

After seeing their other work, I thought of Guy in LA's comment about stalking swains.

For every stalker out there, this is your song. 

Shabbos Face: Eyeshadow I

(While eyeshadow is not, of course, a Shabbos specific step, I shall just label it such. Feel free to use in the weekday). 

This is very serious territory we're entering. 

Since preferences and color-suitability differ from person to person, I will just relate what my eyeshadow routine is, and everyone can take what they like and leave what they don't or suggest alternatives. 

To begin, matte eyeshadows tend to have longer staying power, but even if the eyeshadow of choice has shimmer, the primer should keep it staying put.

The brush for this step has to be carefully selected, as the application here makes all the difference.

My favorite brush happens to be one I bought at Duane Reade by a no-name brand that has since ceased to exist. It was part of a two-pack called "crease brush duo." Most drugstores have some form of "crease brush duo." The smaller brush of the two doesn't get much use, but that's okay.

The brush bristles are firm enough to apply the eyeshadow accurately yet fluffy enough to blend it out. It's a delicate balance, and finding the ideal brush will take time and experimentation. 

The e.l.f. studio contour brush (purchased at Target) is also great; the bristles are deliciously soft, depositing and blending nicely. 

e.l.f. contour brush

Starting first in the crease, apply color deep in there and travel down the lid. Color can be applied however desired; a crescent-shaped approach outlining the outside of the lid, or fully fill in the lid with color, or keep the shadow strictly in the crease.  

Via no-frillsmakeup.onsugar.com

Make sure to blend, blend, blend! That is imperative! Harsh lines must be buffed out. 

More details next Friday on eyeshadow color and using more than one shade.