Friday, November 4, 2011

If Avrohom Wasn't Crying Crisis . . .

I was reading an old Mishpacha magazine at my sister's house. There was an article by Rabbi Dovid Hofstedter which I would recommend.  

Here are a few points he mentions: 

He was saying that Yitzchok Avinu was 37 when his father decided he should be married. 37 is the equivalent of ancient bachelor nowadays, a quintessential example of the shidduch crisis, the Rabbi writes. 

Some sources say that since Rivkah was his bashert, he had to wait until she was 3. But another source responds that if Avrohom knew that specifically Rivkah was for Yitzchok, he then would have simply given Eliezer instructions to get her, rather than the general task of finding a bride.
Avrohom decided to marry off his son after the akeidah, a spiritual test that Yitzchok actively participated in. This elevated him to a new level.
Rabbi Hofstedter says that one shouldn't marry just because friends are getting married. If a boy or girl is currently content with the companionship of friends or studying then they should hold off. 

Only when they realize that they cannot complete their purpose in this world without a spouse, the way that Adam asked Hashem for a helpmeet, is when one is ready for marriage. 

While marriage itself may shlep one up a few rungs of maturity, it should not be relied upon to be the means to do so, he writes.

Huh. I like him. 

Rabbi Hofstedter has come out with a book, Dorash Dovid (volume 1), which delves into the parsha. I think I shall get it. 


guyinla said...

One way to look at it is that he was 37. However, considering he lived to 180 that would be the equivalent of a guy getting married at 15 - average lifespan for a guy is about 75.

Princess Lea said...

But I don't think that's how life worked then. None of us know what our DOD is, and considering how Rivkah was 3, what would that make her in our years? Still in utero?

It's a nice angle, and I'm not letting go of it. :)

guyinla said...

You didn't know that girls are considered old maids as soon as they're born? Where have you been!? :)

Princess Lea said...

Since I loathe the term "lol," let me just say that I laughed.