Monday, September 12, 2011

Opposites Attracting

By a wedding, I was chatting to a newly wedded girl. She was incredibly earnest, humorless, and a tad naive ("I'm going to become a shadchan!") but very sweet. Her husband came by and sat at the table. 

He was the complete opposite to everything she was - a casual attitude (meaning "nothing is sacred"), hysterically funny, and quite jaded. I certainly wouldn't call him sweet. Decent, but not sweet.

The two met at singles event. Despite the fact it was the means to their union, he didn't stop mocking how those events function. I was laughing quite loudly, I'm not proud to say, as he mimicked the other participants and the organizers. 

The two sat with their hands intertwined in what seemed to me the most uncomfortable position (he had to snake his arm through the back of the chair in order to grasp hers), gazing into each other's eyes. 

Not only would I have "not seen them together" before the wedding, I couldn't fathom it after. No wonder why these two met at a shidduch event - who would set them up? 

There was something that bound these two together beyond the obviousness of their natures. I have no idea what it could be, but that's why I'm a mere mortal. 

"I don't see it"? I don't buy it. To the well-meaning matchmakers out there, you aren't God. Your job is to set people up. They'll decide, not you, if it should be "seen" or not.


Mystery Woman said...

I agree with that. But it's not only the matchmakers. Sometimes I call someone I know for information, and they'll tell me, "I don't see it". I didn't ask if they "see" it, and it's no one's job to decide that.

Princess Lea said...

When I said "matchmakers," I meant official and unofficial. I got this line from a neighbor whom we asked to look into a guy.

Yedid Nefesh said...

Id still trust some people's instinct, although very often, its worth a try. When i dont personally see it, i dont discourage the guy to go out w/ the girl because you ever know :)

Shades of Grey said...

I wrote a bit about this at toward the end of this post:

I had a semi-frustrating experience as a shadchan when I tried setting up two friends. The guy was all for it but the girl was told that her friend didn't see it. I pleaded with her to ask more people and not go on the opinion of just 1 person. She proceeded to ask 4 others, including a former chevrusa of his who was also her cousin about the suggestion. All of them said they didn't see it. I had to concede in the end and she never went out with him.

Princess Lea said...

For me, I don't see what's so terrible if I go out and find out for myself. If someone could tell me specifically what they think doesn't jive, that's one thing. But if their reason is a vague "I don't see it" . . . huh.

Nechama said...

Love that picture! Totally makes the piece come to life.