Friday, July 6, 2012


There was once a very silly short story in a Jewish periodical about a single girl who asked her married friend to set her up with a chavrusa of the husband. The married friend, deciding to remain blissfully unaware, didn't follow up. 

The chavrusa got engaged to someone else, and the married friend was stricken with terrible remorse. 

The end. 


After a couple gets engaged, sometimes single girls or their mothers say things like "I was supposed to go out with him next," or "He was redt for me." 

There seems to be some sort of weird assumption that if a guy proposes marriage, it doesn't really matter to whom he is proposing. Meaning, he decided to get himself an ol' ball and chain, and whichever girl was there at the time is the object of his spousal hopes.  

I have this J.D.-like (Scrubs) visualization that a guy gets down on one knee, and while he's fumbling with the box another girl comes barreling out from nearby bushes, shoves the other female out of sight, and then sticks her proffered hand under his nose for the bling while he, apparently, doesn't notice a difference.  

It didn't quite work out that way for the original Leah. 

If only he had gone out with me, these women seem to be thinking, I would be the one getting married. 

Um, they do realize it has something to do with that specific female, right? And who knows? Maybe you wouldn't have liked him anyhow.  


Mystery Woman said...

For me, I think, it works the opposite way. If there's a guy that seems to be an interesting prospect and we're working on it or looking into it, and then he gets engaged to someone else, I KNOW it wasn't meant for my daughter. And it's very comforting, in a way.

Princess Lea said...

I feel the same way. That's why I get annoyed when other people start sighing that their bashert was chapped away. That statement makes absolutely no sense. Bashert is bashert.

Maya Resnikoff said...

I think it's a symptom of how tense and stressed out people are while they're searching for a partner, often. I find that the more worries about something I am, the harder it is to be thoughtful and logical about it, and dating is, as far as I remember, no different.

ZP said...

Sometimes people build an idea up of someone, instead of looking at the reality. Specially when they do TOO much research and look into the person, they are already planning a wedding before they go on a first date.

Leftover Cholent said...

They should be happy that he found his bashert, and that they didn't waste their time with him. Always look for the good in things. Gam Ze LaTova.

Leftover Cholent"

Princess Lea said...

Maya: Yup, dating sucks. And pressure is not a fun companion.

ZP: Maybe that's why I don't do research! :)

LC: Exactly! I can't get these women.