Vive La Différence

Just to reassure my audience, no, I do not make a point of shadchan-hopping. But when a cousin calls up saying she's sorry, but a "shadchan" wants to meet you, what are you gonna do? 

Her: This guy likes hiking, and camping . . .

Me, faking a pleased: Mmm!

Her: Do you like hiking and camping?

Me: No.

Her, initially troubled face, which clears with dawning comprehension: But you'll go hiking and camping anyway! 

Me, pleasantly smiling: No. 

Her: But—

Me: No.

Look, I'm not exactly a newbie when it comes to relationships; I've been observing my siblings' marriages since I was a tween. For instance, my brother and sister-in-law love skiing. Except they are not the ones that are married to each other. 

Luke lives to ski, and Owen's wife enjoys it. Luke goes off on ski vacations with buddies with Orgiana's blessing, while Owen potters about the lodge with a baby slung over one arm and a sefer in his other hand as his wife hurdles down the slopes. 

He can hike and camp and all that crap—I mean, jazz. All that jazz. Just I will be at home, or in a mall, with a level ground beneath my feet and air-conditioning humming away. I'm fine with that.

  

I don't put on my information, "Seeking man who enjoys shopping sales. Must be willing to sift for hours through discount merchandise."  The same way I know most men prefer to spend their time otherwise, so to with me. Have a little imagination, man. 

He can go camping. When he comes back, there will be a suit waiting to try on. 

Vive la différence, vive la variété.