Thursday, January 24, 2013

Myth: Happily Ever After

Disney and Hallmark has a lot to answer for.

Our perception of love and marriage is quite skewed; many of us clutch to ourselves overblown and unrealistic perceptions of infinite bliss that accompanies couplehood.

hen you first meet a guy, you breathlessly rhapsodize, “He's the strong silent type.” After ten years, you shriek, “What are you, mute?!”



Sporadic Intelligence said...

Listen to R' Akiva Tatz's shiur on Marriage. It's fascinating, it discusses this concept of infatuation, love, etc, and more in of course a much more insightful way than any psychologist, or sociologist can tackle it.

(My husband and I received it as a wedding present...I of course had alreadt listened to it.)

Sporadic Intelligence said...

Even leaving you the links ;)

Princess Lea said...

Yay! Listening to it now. Thanks!

The Beckster said...

Insightful post. Thanks for sharing!

Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

Here's the deal: there is no English verb counterpart to the noun "lust". I mean, you can lust after something but you don't lust something.
Why is this important?
Because what Western society calls love is really lust. It's the idea that you think that guy is amazing or that I think that girl is smokin'. That's the reason the sheen wears off. Physical attraction is based on novelty and there's no novelty when you're with the same person every day.
That's why so many people can have affairs but still "love" their life partner. They have a great intellectual connection with the spouse but they crave novelty in their physical life.

Princess Lea said...

MGI: The meaning of love has been distorted to the point of meaninglessness, to the point that one can hurt someone they love but still claim to care about them. I think that was a line in "Hope Floats."

in the vanguard said...

May I say that all this talk of "love" beats around the bush. There is a simple explanation that works in Judaism, for Jews, and another, completely opposite perspective, that works for Gentiles - because they are Gentiles. One formula is for the jewish people, because that's what God ants for His people, and unless they adopt that perspective, by being discriminating in a world that threatens Jews with assimilation, Jews are liable to fall for the inappropriate version of love for themselves.

I hope I explain it better here: