Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Battle of the Bulge: It's His Fault

I have discussed the importance of chewing, and my own recent discovery of the art. 

But from where did I learn such frantic consumption of food in the first place

Apparently, just by having siblings. George Howe Colt brings a myriad examples of celebrity families, and how the children would grimly fight over every morsel. 
Frederik Van den Stock
I'm the sort of eater that I save what I like the best for last on my plate. It has happened more than once that a fork will suddenly appear and skewer my hoarded stash. "Aaaaah!" I wail. "What, you weren't eating it!" mumbles the munching mouth. 

I started eating Shabbos meals in the kitchen.

Perhaps my rapid swallowing of yumminess that comes my way is from the trauma of having resources snatched from my grasp. 
We still eat as if we were in a race — my wife says she’d never met anyone who ate as fast as I do, until she met my brothers
But now the other competitors have flown the coop, leaving me with my bad habits. Now, I am finally free to enjoy, to savor, to slowly consume my supper while idly flipping through the paper, unafraid that my honestly gotten gains will have vanished if I step away from the table.

When they visit some of that anxiety comes over me again; I apportion myself too much sweet and sour chicken, zucchini kugel, and unstuffed cabbage, more than I could or should eat or want, looking furtively over my shoulder, darting to a dark corner to huddle over my meal. 

Another secret to staying slender . . . be generous.       


Still Searching said...

Ok- I can't help but bring up the topic of dating... When you go out to eat do you notice how the guy eats? I find that more often than not the guy's eating habits are less than genteel... and that turns me off from even the guy who has 'everything else' going for him. I just cringe at the thought of going to someone's shabbos table and wanting to sink into my chair as my hubby slurps his soup and wolfs down his meat... *horror*

Princess Lea said...

It is a quandary! While I don't enjoy coffee dates (when the guy feeds you he just tries a little harder, plus I don't like coffee) but then you see his inability to use a fork. I personally have not had dates who attack his food, but I can understand the disgust of seeing a grown man launch on his meal like a caveman.

I am a firm believer that one shouldn't enter a relationship already thinking how to change the guy. That should come a little later. But by some miracle, maybe a guy will observe how one should eat a piece of meat and do a "Pygmalion." A vague hope, but still possible.

I also jump ahead in my head, on the first date already visualizing Shabbos guests.

But remember: you are getting married for YOU. Not for anyone else. So if you yourself are repelled at how he eats, that is one thing. But he shouldn't get the ax because imaginary Shabbos guests. You are horrified, and for good reason!