Tuesday, January 1, 2013

The New RSVP

Blah, cell phones. Hate them. Whenever something catastrophic happens, it's never any use, and the people I try to avoid find me. Feh. 
While texting has for the most part has eliminated loud public phone conversations, there is also the downside that sometimes the texted word is considered less obnoxious than when being voiced. 

The other day I planned to meet up with a friend, with texts flying back and forth rescheduling the time. Ten minutes before the meetup, I gingerly head for the elevator. 


"Cant make it nxt thurs?" 

Unsurprised, but annoyed that I will now have to eat out lunch instead of my home brew of cleansing bean soup, I grumpily head out for the least greasiest place I can think of, which is still too greasy.

Why did she bother to begin with? I could have saved both of us all that aggravation. If the day begins messily, it is not likely to improve; just cancel already
Texting and instant messaging make it easier to navigate our social lives, but they are also turning us into ill-mannered flakes. Not long ago, the only way to break a social engagement, outside of blowing off someone completely, was to do it in person or on the phone. An effusive apology was expected, or at least the appearance of contrition.
But now, when our fingers tap our way out of social obligations, the barriers to canceling have been lowered. Not feeling up for going out? Have better plans? Just type a note on the fly (“Sorry can’t make it tonight”) and hit send.
And don’t worry about giving advance notice. The later, the better. After all, bailing on dinner via text message doesn’t feel as disrespectful as standing up someone, or as embarrassing.
The beauty of the vague text is that it doesn't invite comment. After all, it could be something as important as the security of the free world why the other party doesn't show. But it's encouraging others to view others' time as cheap, when a little foresight and planning could have spared inconvenience.

As for dating? Guys will call to schedule the date, but then usually text to reschedule. Coincidence? I doubt it. Texting has become the conduit for bad news. It does have its perks, I do not deny, but it seems as time goes on I become more of a luddite.    


Anonymous said...

Haven't you written before about the advantages of breaking up with a guy after a few dates through text??

Princess Lea said...

Big difference. In that case, text allows the rejected party to save face; being put on the spot to say something non-desperate/pathetic/needy when a gal is dumping you is rather aggravating.

Yes, I am a big fan of breaking up by text or email, when one is cutting off ties to another human being.

But with a friend, who I plan to see again, and is blowing me off? Don't jerk me around, girl.

FrumGeek said...

You break up through text? The least the guy deserves after spending time and money on you is a phone call!

Mighty Garnel Ironheart said...

Texting is yet another sign of the decline of human intelligence and ethical quality.
Once upon a time you had to talk to a person and face the consequences of what you said. Texting removed that and created a society in which people cannot speak face to face or think in more than bite size statements.

Princess Lea said...

Bleep. Blorp. Bleep.

In bites about that small.

Princess Lea said...

FG: Sorry, didn't see your comment there.

Why do you think there is a concept of a shadchan? Because when two people barely know each other, but one knows enough that this ain't gonna happen, having a shadchan break it to you allows one to SAVE FACE. I am very big on that.

I am very happy that a shadchan tells me after two dates, instead of the guy, that it is not going to happen. Because I save face.

If I appreciate it for myself, why wouldn't I give a guy the same consideration, whether he spent money and time or not? Why is it such a great honor to be rejected over the phone? And don't give me that "honesty" crap; I can't stand it when people are honest. I want them to preserve my feelings first.

Which is great by getting dumped through text.

FrumGeek said...

If you're dumping him through text, then I assume you're already beyond using the shadchan. In that case, he deserves a phone call.

Princess Lea said...

FG: Not necessarily. Not always does every first or second date end through a shadchan.

However, if things went so far, I probably would just marry the guy rather than have to break up with him.

Anonymous said...

What do you think of a guy asking you out through texting? Would you appreciate face to face or a phone call or for both of you to save face?

Princess Lea said...

Do you mean there is no middle person, and he is just asking me out out of the blue?

I would prefer texting, because yes, if I was not interested in going out with him, I would be able to have time to formulate a response that would be less "heck no" and more "it's not you, it's me."

If, however, there was a shadchan and so we both know that a date is happening, then phone call.

Keep in mind that I am not a typical female and my own personal preferences are certainly not applicable to all those possessing XX chromosomes.