Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Man With a Past

At a simcha, a woman approached me. 

"You look so familiar," she began. 

It was vaguely possible she had seen me before, but then the conversation casually segued into what I'm "doing," my age, etc, in other words, real shidduch conversation. 

We chatted pleasantly despite the proximity to the band, and when we parted ways she still watched me appraisingly from across the room. 

She later resurfaced, trying to get me redt for her divorced son. But lest one think I am being unreasonable, here's this little tidbit:

A cousin by marriage, a few years ago, tried to set me up. He decided to deliver the news that the other party said no by yodeling "It looks like it's not going to happen" across a packed room (obviously, we are no longer on speaking terms).

The declining party was this woman and her son. Before his marriage. 

It would seem, dear fellow/madam, the ship as sailed. (Tooooooooot). 


ZP said...

I think the whole topic of dating divorcees is becoming more and more relevant, as there are more quick marriages.

I think the biggest thing for me was the emotional baggage that being in a previous marriage brings (among other things). But sometimes people who are not divorced bring MORE emotional baggage than one who had a three month marriage. I went out with two divorced guys and though they were not for me, they were really incredible men. One of them I dated for a few weeks and though I was hesitant and had originally said no and then changed my mind to even date him, I'm glad I did.

If anything, its possible that someone that is divorced is now even more ready to become a better spouse. In a similar way, I believe that the different guys that I've dated have taught me so much and that I will be a better spouse because of it.

Though I hear that your "ego" was hurt because before the marriage he said not and now he said yes, people don't always put that much thought into it. Meaning, its possible he was choosing between 10 people, or his mother just made the choice for him. I wouldn't hold that against him since you don't really know why they said no.

Sparrow said...

I don't know why he said no before, but I've almost never had the chance to go out with the same boy twice unless I went out with him once. (Big mistake)

Princess Lea said...

ZP: He made his choice once. He decided, no? So stand by it. I was suggested, he said no, let's all move on. For how long, through how many marriages (on his part) must I make myself available?

Sparrow: I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you mean.

(Although I have gone out with the same guy twice accidentally.)

Sparrow said...

I guess I mean that I don't usually get second chances.

Princess Lea said...

"Second chances" apply to "the one that got away." We never met, at his choice.

If we are talking about "second chances," that would be on his end, not mine.